For most of my life, I’ve been a naturally positive person. I didn’t lean heavily on criticism, complaining, or comparing, but I was aware that these habits showed up more often than I wanted, especially in the form of self-criticism. It wasn’t loud or obvious, but it was there, draining my energy and definitely holding me back.

In today’s fast-paced work environment, where competition and stress dominate, cultivating positivity and accessing a state of flow can seem daunting. However, embracing positive habits can transform our mindset and create a more fulfilling and productive workplace. At the heart of this transformation lies the concept, inspired by Jay Shetty’s book Think Like a Monk, of avoiding the three negative Cs: Criticism, Complaining, and Comparing, and replacing them with what I’ve identified as the three positive counterparts: Consciousness, Curiosity, and Compassion.

It wasn’t until I slowed down and started paying close attention that I realized how much energy I was giving to the negative three Cs. Inspired by Jay Shetty’s insights, I decided to track how often these habits appeared in my day. I set aside 24 hours to observe how frequently I criticized, complained, or compared. The results were surprising. These behaviors crept into my thoughts and conversations way more often than I had realized.

But recognizing this pattern was a turning point. It gave me the clarity to see where I was and the awareness to start making changes. Awareness is powerful. It mobilizes. It becomes the bridge that connects where you are to where you want to be.

This shift helped me grow and unlocked something even more transformative, the improved ability to access a state of flow.

The Three Cs and the Science of Flow

Flow is often described as the state where time disappears, focus deepens, and creativity flourishes. Neuroscience shows that this state is fueled by positive emotions, which trigger the release of feel-good chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and endorphins. These chemicals sharpen our focus, enhance problem-solving, and create a sense of effortless engagement.

But here’s the challenge: our brains are naturally wired for negativity. This is part of what’s known as the “negativity bias,” a survival mechanism that kept our ancestors alert to danger. In modern life, though, this bias can lead us to dwell on criticism, complaints, or comparisons, habits that pull us out of the present moment and block access to flow.

For me, this bias showed up in subtle but persistent ways. Comparing my progress to someone who made it all look effortless. A quiet complaint about a minor inconvenience. A self-critical thought that replayed in my mind longer than it should have. These weren’t overwhelming, but they were enough to disrupt my focus and steal my joy.

From Awareness to Action

Once I became aware of how these habits were holding me back, I knew I needed a shift. Neuroscience calls this process neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form new pathways through repeated intentional practice. By replacing the negative three Cs with their positive counterparts, I began to rewrite the script in my mind.

Consciousness helped me stay present. Instead of reacting impulsively or replaying negative thoughts, I learned to pause, breathe, and respond with intention. After a challenging meeting, I resisted the urge to spiral into self-criticism. Instead, I took a moment to reflect on what went well and what I could improve. That simple pause changed everything. I learned to be still and wait until the resistance to the situation eased, allowing me to respond with clarity and calm.

Curiosity invited me to approach challenges differently. Rather than judging myself or others, I started asking questions. Why was a particular situation triggering me? What could I learn from it? Using the 5 Why’s technique, I now dig deeper into these questions, uncovering the root causes of my reactions and discovering insights I hadn’t seen before. Neuroscience shows that curiosity activates brain regions linked to learning and problem-solving, making it a key driver of flow. By embracing curiosity and peeling back the layers of my thoughts, I became more open to possibilities and more creative in my approach to work and relationships.

Compassion was by far the most rewarding. I learned to extend kindness not just to others, but to myself. I often led with empathy for others, imagining what it must be like to walk in their shoes and assuming no ill intent. But self-compassion was a different story. Giving myself grace was more of a challenge, as my high-achiever, perfectionist tendencies often stood in the way. When I fell short of my own expectations, I had to work hard to stop viewing it as a setback and instead see it as an opportunity to practice grace. I began treating myself as I would a colleague, friend, or family member, leading with kindness and respect. Compassion softened the edges of criticism and created space for growth, both within myself and in my relationships.

Flow Follows Positivity

The shift from Criticism, Complaining, and Comparing to Consciousness, Curiosity, and Compassion changed my mindset and transformed how I work and live. It helped me access flow more often and with greater ease.

🧘‍♀️ Consciousness keeps me present and focused, clearing the mental clutter that blocks creativity.

🔍 Curiosity sparks exploration, helping me approach challenges with openness and possibility instead of concern or doubt.

💜 Compassion begins with grace, softening self-criticism and reducing judgment of others. It creates space for growth, fostering trust and deeper understanding.

When these habits become second nature, flow feels within reach. The state of deep focus and effortless engagement has become a regular part of my work and life, not just an occasional experience.

The Journey to Change

I won’t pretend this process was easy, I’ve been working on it for years, and I still catch myself slipping into old habits. What I’ve learned is that change comes from progress, not perfection. Awareness gives you the power to pause, reflect, and choose differently. And with practice, those choices add up to something extraordinary.

If you’re ready to create the life and mindset you want, start with awareness. Notice when Criticism, Complaining, or Comparing show up, and remind yourself that you have the power to choose Consciousness, Curiosity, and Compassion instead. These shifts unlock the flow state more often, enhancing not only your personal well-being but also your professional growth. This journey has changed my mind, transformed my life, and helped me stay true to my purpose in both work and life. I believe it will do the same for you.